That Time I Travelled Solo the First Time

31 January - 2 February 2014
Vigan - Laoag - Pagudpud

The long journey to Pagudpud

According to Wikipedia, a traveller is someone who travels, especially to distant lands. By this definition, basically anyone can call themselves a traveller. But for me, it requires more to be able to call yourself a traveller. For me, that means being comfortable to go off alone to somewhere unfamiliar and distant, albeit not necessarily without fear of anxiety. By this, I am definitely not a traveller. Although I have taken flights and ridden buses to places I have never been before, I had always done so with someone, which automatically eliminates the feelings of discomfort, of insecurity, and of worry.

There had been several attempts to solve this identity crisis (Bolinao in August 2013, Baler in November 2013, another Bolinao in December 2013) but it wasn't only until January of 2014 that I finally pushed through with my intention. With my mind racing and my heart palpitating, I powered through all my doubts and took a taxi to the bus station.

At the bus station, I automatically calmed down as I sat in line for three hours amidst the Chinese New Year exodus and the scheduling chaos. I was no longer anxious nor scared but bored and desperate. I was just thankful that I was finally sitting in a bus even if it wasn't exactly headed for Ilocos.

At around 12nn, after 9hrs of just sitting and/or sleeping, I got off along the National Highway just before the bus made a turn for Abra. I stood with my backpack as I watched the bus that was supposed to take me to my destination leave me at a town I have never heard of before with only suggestions of how to get to Laoag.

Fortunately, I have always been amazed with being somewhere unfamiliar. So instead of panicking, I stood with awe and with a mind full of opportunities. But I gripped myself and focused on my original destination. After thirty minutes of waiting beside bus vendors watching vans and buses all not headed to Laoag pass by, I decided to take the van to Vigan instead and find a bus to Laoag from there.

A little over an hour later, arriving at Vigan, I discovered that buses to Laoag or Pagudpud are not to depart until late in the afternoon, posing another dilemma of whether to pursue (but with risk) my original plan to watch the sunset from Saud Beach in Pagupud. I considered all actions I could take and decided to just stay in the touristy but still beautiful heritage city of Vigan -- where I stayed in the worst room I have ever been, and I have stayed in P250-rooms before.

Now, I have been to Vigan before which means that it is a relatively comfortable place to be in -- a happy break in this already challenging and spontaneous trip. I know my way around and even though I was surrounded by groups of tourists, I did not feel too insecure.

The next morning, I was up at 5am to chance upon a bus to either Laoag or Pagudpud and could not be more eager to get out of my filthy room. 2hrs more and I was finally at Laoag, one more ride away to my destination. I enjoyed the early morning sights and walked all the way to where the mini-buses bound to Pagudpud are. I have been to Laoag too before so I was quite confident traversing even along the streets I haven't been to. I boarded the first van to depart and was finally, happily and proudly, on my way to Maira-ira Beach (Blue Lagoon) at the further border of Pagudpud.

I arrived at Wally's World Homestay at around 10am, 17hrs late from my original timeline and skipping day 1 of the original itinerary. I proceeded to get surfing lessons and then to find a peaceful enough lunch place where I met a legitimate traveller. He told me about that time he reached Baguio without paying for transportation and that time he went to Boracay from Mindoro only on a jet ski. In the afternoon, my surf instructor took me on a private tour to a cave and up the surrounding hills. He told me that he was originally from Tarlac and permanently moved to Pagudpud after falling in love with the place.

The next morning, I woke up early to watch the sunrise, originally intending to watch it from the nearby hill but decided it dangerous to climb alone. I found a quiet spot with a view of the beach, the water, and the distant hills and watched as the rising sun slowly altered the color of the sky from a deep dark blue to a golden yellow and finally to a blinding white. It was one of my most peaceful mornings ever and thinking of how far I travelled, 560kms to be exact, and what I went through to be there -- two bus rides, two van rides, and a whole lot of doubts -- made it even more special.

I'M WATCHING THE SUNRISE FROM A PLACE I HAVEN'T BEEN BEFORE, A THOUSAND KILOMETERS FROM MY HOME BASE, AND I MADE IT HERE ALL BY MYSELF. WOW.

Other Posts (upcoming):
Why I'll never take a plane to Ilocos
Why I chose Pagudpud as my first-solo-trip destination

Batanes Travel Guide

This guide covers only Batan Island and Sabtang Island as I have yet to visit Itbayat Island, the third and least accessible inhabited island in the Batanes Group of Islands.

The Batanes Group of Islands

What to Know

Physical Location
The Batanes Group of Islands is made up of 10 islands scattered throughout the Luzon strait. It is at the northernmost tip of the Philippine archipelago and is actually nearer to Taiwan than to mainland Luzon. 

Orientation
Batanes is the smallest province in the Philippines in terms of land area and population. Among its 10 islands, only 3 are inhabited, namely Batan, Sabtang, and Itbayat.

Batan has 4 municipalities namely Basco, Mahatao, Ivana, and Uyugan. Basco, the capital, serves as the gateway to the rest of the region. Its town center is lined with numerous grocery stores, talipapa's (temporary wet markets), bicycles/motorcycles, and ukay-ukay's (thrift shops) in no predictable order. Most of the roads look the same and the locals rely on the number of intersections instead of on street names when giving directions (i.e. turn left at the 5th intersection vs. turn left at Amboy St.) Abad St. is the main road traversing the whole length of the town and could be used as an anchor point when navigating.

Sabtang and Itbayat are both island-municipalities. Sabtang has 6 barangays namely Sinakan, Savidug, Chavayan, and the less-visited Sumnaga, Nakanmuan, and Malakdang. The island gives a better preview of traditional Ivatan living with its preserved stone houses and villages.

The people of Batanes are mostly of Ivatan ethnicity. There are, however, migrants, especially from the Cagayan and Ilocos, who have learned to speak the local language and have identified themselves as Ivatan too.

Communication
Cellphone signals for Smart and Globe are available in all municipalities except in barangays Itbud and Imnajbu in Batan and Nakanmuan, Sumnaga, and Chavayan in Sabtang. Wifi is available in some hotels and homestays although no more new internet applications are allowed for technical limitations. Thus, new establishments may most likely not be able to provide internet.

Transportation
The main mode of transportation in the region is by bicycle or motorcycle. Four-wheeled vehicles, except for tour vans, are uncommon which is just because of the narrow roads and high fuel prices. Public transport is rare since most of the locals have their own two-wheels. However, there is still the BATODA (Basco Tricyle Operators and Drivers' Association) and the MATODA (Mahatao Tricyle Operators and Drivers' Association) when necessary. But unlike in other regions, they don't roam the roads in search of passengers but park themselves at the terminal and wait for a text or call.

Weather
Because Batanes is basically out at the open sea, weather conditions can be unpredictable -- a sunny day today does not mean there won't be a storm tomorrow. Strong winds and rainshowers, however, should always be expected.

Electricity
When winds get too strong, power disruptions may occur. At other nights, the power station stages a rotating brown-out in order to accommodate the whole island. But disregarding this, most of the streets are lighted, albeit dimly. Nevertheless, a flashlight would be handy and more comfortable.

Accommodation
Most accommodation options are homestays although hotels are also in business. Traditionally, homestays are rooms of local homes that have been made available for guests. These options are thus more homey, basic and inexpensive. The homeowers themselves cater to the needs of the guests which may or may not be an advantage. In Batanes though, almost everyone in the tourism business were required to attend a hospitality seminar.

Security
Crime rate in the region is basically zero. No one touches things they don't own and there have been stories of wallets and possessions being lost and found exactly where they were left.


Where to Go

Batan Island
Batan Island is the largest among the islands and is best enjoyed in two days. It is usually divided into North Batan and South Batan, although North Batan really just covers Basco.

Naidi Hills
The Naidi Hills is a mere 15 mins away from Basco town. Here, you will find the Basco Lighthouse and the Bunker's Cafe, as well as a number of grazing cows and "cow compost". In the morning, climb up the lighthouse for a view of Basco town, its rolling hills, and of towering Mt. Iraya and then come back by 6pm just in time to marvel at the sunset and to eat at Bunker's Cafe. The Cafe opens from 6pm onwards since the owner works until 5pm at the local health center(?) and attends to her cafe only after.

Bunker's Cafe at Naidi Hills

Valugan Boulder Beach
While waiting for the sunset, kill time at Valugan Boulder Beach which is east of Basco town. Aptly named, the whole length of the shore is made up of varying sizes of boulders. Have fun skipping across the boulders, attempting rock balancing, or challenging the waves.

Valugan Boulder Beach

Racuh a Payaman aka Marlboro Country
This might be what most people are excited about Batanes for -- the New Zealand-esque landscape with its rolling hills and grazing cattle that make you forget you're still in the Philippines. Getting to the site is mostly uphill and could be a thrilling (or nauseous) ride.

During our visit, there was a looming storm and the wind was blowing like crazy. It blew from all directions, mixing with rain, and threatened to blow us and our cameras away. With the sun peaking from behind dark clouds, making a divide between light and dark, the experience could even be considered spiritual by some. It was literally mind-blowing.

Facing a looming storm at Marlboro Country

Alapad Hill
Referring more to a rock formation than to a hill, Alapad Hill itself doesn't really offer much to a non-rock-enthusiast. With its sharp curves, rigid lines, whitish stone, and concealed caves, the rock is indeed pretty. But what lies behind that large formation is what's really marvelous. It stands at a corner with a 270-degree view of two varying shores, one with rock-smashing towering waves and the other with gentler come-hither waters.

As with our "Marlboro Country" experience, our Alapad Hill experience was also extreme. We were blown away by the same raging wind except that we were on a cliff and riding on a bike.

Other Batan destinations include:

• Diura Fishing Village
• Itbud Village
• Songsong Ruins
• Chana'tuan Fields in Uyugan
• The house of Dakay and the Honesty Coffee Shop in Ivana
• Mahatao Boat Shelter
• Chawa View Deck halfway going to Mahatao
• Dipnaysupuan Japanese Tunnel near the PAGASA Radar Station

Sabtang Island

Because public transportation is basically inexistent in this island, visits would be part of a chartered tricycle tour. This would normally include only half of the island because of the fixed boat schedule; although the full-island tour would still be doable but with minimal "awe" time.

To get to Sabtang, you can either charter a van, a tricycle, or a motorcycle (rare) to San Vicente Port in Ivana. If not, you can catch the single-trip 6am jeep for a cheap P27 fare. Ask at Amboy's along Amboy St. to confirm jeep schedule and jeep route although waiting at Abad St. would be a good bet. The jeep would most likely stop at San Vicente Port to drop off goods to be ferried to Sabtang Island. If there is time to kill before the boat departs, take advantage of the public restroom just in front of San Vicente Church or, even better, walk to Honesty Coffee Shop just beside the port. Take note that boat trips to Sabtang are few and scheduled. The first boat leaves at 7am from Ivana and returns by 2pm from Sinakan. Be sure to catch these times.

Popular destinations at Sabtang include the ones listed below. These are the towns nearest Sinakan where the port is, although the tour can also be modified to include the farther towns on request (there is supposedly a "seahorse" rock formation in Malakdang). This is more recommended for an overnight trip though so as not to sacrifice "awe" time.

• Savidug Vernacular Houses
• Chavayan Traditional Ivatan Village
• Sabtang Weaver's Association
• Nakabuang Beach

A row of Vernacular Houses in Savidug

Entrance to Chavayan Traditional Ivatan Village

Lady from the Sabtang Weaver's Association

Creamy sand at Nakabuang Beach

What to Do

Do like the locals and pedal your way around town

As already mentioned, bikes and motorbikes are the most popular methods of transportation. But since renting a motorbike is more expensive and (ideally) requires a license, why not sweat it out on a bike instead? This was what we did and although pushing your bike up steep hills was lame, the ride down was definitely exhilirating, especially if you're riding cliff-side. Plus, this mode allowed more freedom and contact with the surroundings than sitting in an AC van.

Go to Amboy's along Amboy St. for a wide selection of bikes or to Crisan's along Dita St. for newer bikes. (~P250/day)

Watch the sun set from Naidi Hills while munching

The hills directly face west offering a sunset view framed by hills, cattle and open water. Be there by 6pm the latest and witness the sun slowly disappear on the horizon as it emits varying shades of orange until darkness overtakes. Bring snacks and picnic while watching the show but don't forget to be wary of jealous/excited cows that "sing" a capella to the spectacle.

Pick a hill and run your heart out

Tired of running along paved roads and tiled floors? Do it through grasslands for a change. I promise, you'll love the difference.

What to Eat
Finding a place to dine out at is a bit challenging. Restaurants are few and scattered while canteens are difficult to spot. Some budget options include the following:

Chili's
Abad St. cor Cantor St.
Chili's is a small corner canteen which supposedly serves "chilified" meals. There's a tiny talipapa outside almost camouflages the canteen But look for the Chili's signage and don't be afraid to peek inside that screen door to inquire what is being served.

SDC Canteen
National Rd., in front of Basco Municipal Hall, behind St. Dominic College
Asking a local for a canteen nearby, they would always point you to SDC Canteen which is actually a bit outside the town center. It is a real canteen though -- spacious, equipped with a TV, and manned by cafeteria ladies.

Dietician's Cafe
National Rd., near the Rural Health Unit
Owned by a dietician, this tiny cafe sits around 6 people, serves dietician-approved meals, and keeps utensils and plates sanitized. They open early, around 8am, and their food offerings vary throughout the day.

Hiro's Cafe
Abad St. cor. Abuyo St.
Their original store was closed out because of the recent typhoon damage and they were using a mixed-use home-office as base. Although they didn't have signage for the canteen, they still accommodate food orders on request, albeit only for take-out. They serve inexpensive and great Ivatan food.

6 to 8 Panciteria
National Rd., near Ivatan Lodge
Serving more than just pancit, 6 to 8 is likely only open from 6am to 8pm. Order a heaping size of Pancit Batil Patong for a quick merienda fix.

Aside from lobster, Ivatans no longer consume traditional food fare on a normal basis. Most places, canteens especially, offer the usual Filipino selections. For Ivatan delicacies, head over to Ivatan Pension House and be ready to splurge on Coconut Crabs, Uvud Balls, Lobster, Uve Chips, and Lumpiang Dibang.

Note: Coconut crabs are illegal to eat outside of Batanes because of their decreasing population. They are said to taste just like the normal crabs except for a slight hint of coconut due to their diet. I personally don't think that the slight hint of difference in taste -- which you may not even notice -- is worth further endangering an endangered specie. Plus, they look freaky and hairy.

The Hardworking Traveller is a collection of travel guides and travel accounts that aim to help the DIY tourist with travel planning. The author is a generation-y kid struggling between her reality of needing a corporate job and her dream of becoming a hermit.

For questions, reactions and itinerary requests, please contact her here. She will also gladly customize a trip for you in exchange for coffee (or milk tea).

Helpless at Alapad Hill

It had been 20kms of sloping roads since we first started our biking trip. Our breakfast of soft rice with chicken bits had long come and gone. And although there were a number of detours and rest stops along the way, fatigue has already started creeping in.

We just came down from Racuh a Payaman and were making our way to Songsong. I was eyeing a sharp mountain curve and was strongly pedaling my way to it through a manageable gust. No problem. But as I came closer and closer, I found it harder and harder to keep my bike under control. And as soon as I could see to the other side, I was forced to dismount and cling to a wall of rock for dear life.

The mountain wind mixing with the sea wind was creating a strong breeze that was pushing my bike cliff-ward. I knew I was still a safe distance away but biking was a new skill and the wind felt determined. My courage eventually broke and I got off almost as soon as it did. Overlyanxiousthoughcapablebritpino must have felt the same because she almost jumped from her bike and similarly stuck to the wall beside me. (Or maybe she sensed my broken courage and ran to my comfort).

It was an overwhelming experience. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I felt helpless against the roaring wind. It was one strong gust after another. And although our rocky sanctuary provided little to no protection at all, we kept clinging to it for lack of alternatives and for fear of being blown off cliff.

Upon regaining some composure,I started looking around for a better shelter and realized how magnificently beautiful our unmoved salvation was. It was a sculptured rock marking the corner of a hill and overlooking a sea of crashing waves and fortified rock formations. It appeared to be made of sedimentary layers which slanted to the sea at a 45-degree angle and glowed with the morning sun. There were small crevices and a narrow ledge leading to them that I would have wanted to explore if not for our current dilemma.

As we clung to our rock, weighing our courage against the strong wind, three motorcycles breezily drove thru our challenge spot. They glanced at us while we lookingly implored for help. But I guess, even with our knees almost to the ground and bodies bent over forward in attempt to resist the wind, we weren't convincing enough. (Or maybe they also couldn't afford to stop and lose their momentum against it.)

Realizing that we need to get through our dilemma on our own, we hung on until the gust became manageable enough. I'm not sure whether it indeed mellowed down or we became more determined but we mounted our bikes and pedaled through without injury.

It only took two pedals to go around the curve and away from the relentless wind. But those two pedals definitely demanded a lot of courage and physical strength.

Later on down at Ivana, we learned that the glorious rock we desperately clung to was the Alapad Hill Rock Formation that was in our itinerary. I thought we missed it but it turned out we shared a very intimate moment with it.

For obvious reasons,  we didn't have a picture at the spot so I grabbed this from Pinasmuna.com. The road definitely looks harmless and I'm sure it is on a clear day. The wind was crazy during our visit, hence the struggle, which was also a lucky incident for me.

Alapad Hill Formation. Sharp corner ahead.

The First Day of My Life

2013 had been the toughest year in my young life so far. I know it wasn't just for me and although I didn't encounter any of the national crises that made the year especially challenging, it still felt like I was hit by emotional floods and uncertainty storms. All of them caught me off-guard and all of them hit me to the core.

But as 2013 approached its end, and as another year was added to my age, I obtained an increasing sense of hope. I felt that the coming new year offers a fresh new start -- an opportunity to make things right and to make up for all the negative outlooks and unrealized goals.

With this, I came up with a bucket list that I intend to accomplish before I kick 2014 out. This will serve as my shining guide to making the start of my 23rd year in this world the first day of my life. Cheers!

2014 Bucket List

• Get a full-time office job

For most of my post-grad career, I have worked as an independent business consultant which allowed me to work where and when as I please. Although this is the kind of flexibility that most people crave for, I realized that the type of work that I do doesn't give me the exposure and experience that I want. I don't meet people and I only get "shallowly" involved with a project. This 2014, I want to meet new people, make new friends, learn more about my industry, and commit to a full-time work.

Update: As of 15 Jan 2014, I am officially hired as a Business Analyst at a Singapore-based market research and business consulting firm. Although I still have an option to work from home, I am glad that I now have a steady flow of work and an opportunity for more exposure.

Update2: After 5 months under a temporary contract, I was successfully converted into a permanent position with a higher base salary but also with income tax, required contributions, and leave benefits. Work has become very challenging, physically, emotionally and intellectually but I am learning a lot and not yet 100% hating the office.
Update3: I'm now 10 months in and a lot has certainly happened. I have travelled to Singapore and to Phuket for training and to Cebu for fieldwork. I have met with business owners, corporate executives, and international colleagues. I have worked almost 80 hours in a week. Everything has become unnatural and challenging and although I still am not yet 100% hating the office, I am unhappy with the nature of my work and the circumstances surrounding it.
Update4: I submitted my resignation letter late November before I went out for my scheduled 2-week annual leave. My Director didn't accept it and gave me the rest of the year off instead so that I could reflect more on my decision. However, before I took that additional vacation, we talked and I finalized my resignation saying that I no longer feel enthusiastic about work unlike when I was still starting out. We agreed to set my last day of employment as Associate Consultant on 30 January 2015, just over a year after I accepted the position.

• Travel solo

Although I try to make my travels as "non-touristy" as possible, I feel that I can't call myself a real traveller unless I've done it solo. I know I have the skills and smarts to do it but I haven't found the guts to do so. I had a couple of attempts by now and both ended up getting thankfully cancelled for circumstantial reasons. So this 2014, I want to finally do it. I'll choose a beach destination, get on a bus (or a plane), and enjoy the scenery by my lonesome self.

Update: I spent the first long weekend of the year (31 Jan - 2 Feb 2014, Chinese New Year) in Ilocos. I journeyed to Pagudpud, spending one night in Vigan and an hour in Laoag, where I tried surfing, conversed with both locals and fellow visitors, watched the sunrise, and enjoyed a meal in Bergblick. I was truly happy, satisfied and amazed. The trip wasn't smooth but all the obstacles were definitely worth it!
Update2: I made a quick and impulsive escape to Liw-liwa in Zambales on the Sunday early morning of 6 April 2014. The city just felt tiresome so I developed an unreasonable urge to go out. I met at least 3 people, saw the reddest of all sunsets, and played hostel receptionist to weary teenage backpackers. The whole experience felt stupid and awkward but liberating at the same time.
Update3: I had three solo trips for work: Singapore in August, and Cebu in September and Phuket in September also. None of them were enjoyable because the pressure to be productive kept looming above my head. I only had half-a-day free in Singapore, 3 peaceful hours in Cebu, and one afternoon in Phuket with the Chinese delegates. I realized that I don't want to travel for work because it sucks the freedom out of it.
Update4: I went to Baler for my birthday during my annual leave after which I went further up to Baguio and then to Sagada to escape the impending typhoon in Manila. The trip was a bit spontaneous and I didn't have concrete plans so I felt somewhat lost in some parts but it was a very welcome breathe of fresh air and greenery.

• Invest in a dollar fund

This is admittedly the easiest among my list but being able to easily check off a to-do would certainly help. I requested to be paid in cash dollars for my last airline research project for two reasons. The first one was to avoid spending the whole amount on stuff that I want and the second was to use it on something that I might need instead. I was already dreaming about how to happily spend my earnings but a small voice inside me insisted that I just invest it. The small voice won and as of 17 Jan 2014, my dollar investment has already gained USD1.09.

• Have customized bed done

I live in a studio unit and making the most out of the small space has always been a struggle. Because the bed occupies the most space, and because I don't actually have a bed but a mattress on top of another, I thought I'd want a space-efficient one custom-made to my preferences. I've already drafted some designs and contacted some furniture makers but haven't finalized anything yet. Besides not yet earning the money, I am also undecided with my design. I'm investing not only cash but also space so I want it to be perfect.

Update: After a few sketches, several internet searches, and 3 months of delay, I am finally sleeping on a real bed. It is spacious indeed but not as space-efficient as I wanted it to be. The furniture maker didn't exactly follow my design, removing the cabinets I was looking forward to the most and the not giving enough space for my other mattress.

• Enroll in an archery class

Watching my brother play Diablo around a decade ago, I always thought that archers were the best characters to use because they have long-range attacks and I would often wonder about the weapons themselves and how they work. This may have imbibed in me a certain curiosity towards bows and arrows. Two years ago, I finally got to try one and although I didn't feel inexplicable joy shooting arrows through a target, I felt determined to actually learn the skill.

Update: Earlier this March, I finally put my money down and enrolled for Gandiva's Basic Archery Program. I've done 4 out of 15 hours, the string no longer hits my left arm, and my arrows are developing a grouping. I'm currently taking a break from training because my shoulder began to hurt after the 2nd session and I'm afraid it might get worse. But I definitely enjoy being in the range and I intend to finish the course.

• Go on a few dates

Because my last romantic involvement started while I was still in College and ended just recently, I felt that I missed out on going out and meeting new people. I missed the thrill and novelty of talking with someone you barely (but are interested to) know. So this 2014, I would like to be asked on a date, feel excited over it, and get to know a new interesting person.

Update: Although they may not qualify as "dates" according to the description above, I am currently "seeing" two different guys from different backgrounds and with seemingly different intentions. Neither are, in no way, serious relationships but I have been in regular contact with them for at least a month now (June 2014), with one more casual and/or faster-paced than the other.
Update2: My crush from the office invited me for a dinner and movie date on 23 August 2014. We had an extended dinner at Sumosam while waiting for the last full show of Rurouni Kenshin in Gateway. After which we got drinks at Oyster Boy because it felt still early to go home at 12:30mn. I had been eyeing him since his first day and it felt an achievement to have him finally ask me out.
Update3: I was able to go out with a few guys during the year. It was fun. It was exciting. And sometimes confusing. I kept my wall up the whole time to protect me from heartaches and to contain my crazy eyes. However, after a year, I now feel that I'm done juggling dates and would like to focus on something else (or someone?). I will still keep the two-years of singlehood I promised (and I feel I need) though and will still entertain dates but maybe with less pursuit.

Other achievements:

• Go to the theater alone. I watched "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" in SM Megamall on 22 January 2014, the movie's opening day. There were only a few people in the cinema (mostly couples) and I awkwardly ended up sitting next to a young family. I enjoyed the movie even if I only had my lame hotdog sandwich for a buddy.
• Drive along NLEX to Bulacan. Although this may not be as big of a deal as the others (I was never nervous), I still think that this is a milestone since I was able to extend my "comfort zone" to a little bit up north this 2 July 2014 (Pasig City Day). I have never driven along NLEX on my own and I have never stepped foot on Bulacan before so that's two firsts and one new destination.
• Have something stolen. (Not exactly an achievement on my part but it was an experience). While on my way to a meeting in Paco, Manila on 26 September 2014, I put my phone inside my laptop bag's side pocket for easy access and to free both my hands for reading and holding on to the train's handrails. The setup proved to be indeed convenient, even for pick pockets, as when I checked again, the zipper was open and my Samsung N7100 gone.
• Party hard. As most of my friends are conservative, we never really went to parties and drinking was almost always controlled. But on 5 July 2014, with a group of more daring friends, I ended up attending Unleashed 2 among a crowd of college kids and got wasted on Southern Comfort. Most of the night was a blur and the following morning a jigsaw puzzle. But the hang-over was well worth it and I got a couple of bead bracelets and stranger hugs in return.
• Make friends from scratch. For the first three months of my full-time employment, I had no office friends, mostly because of the setup of my department. I didn't talk to anyone, I ate lunch at my desk, and I didn't take coffee breaks. And then one day, at the office wash room, I initiated a conversation and made a friend. Since then, office chats were an hourly habit, lunch breaks were a riot, and coffee breaks extended to an hour.

*Post to be updated on an ongoing basis whenever appropriate.

A Very (Un)Happy Birthday To Me

It was a few hours on the morning of my 23rd birthday and I just woke up. I had two unread birthday messages on my phone and none on Facebook. I didn't get up immediately and remained in my bed. I was waiting for something but I didn't know what. I just didn't feel like getting up, like moving, or like doing anything. So I just laid there.

I started thinking about past birthdays and how excited I was every time the day nears. I would always look forward to it like it was a very exciting and eventful day. And on the day itself, I would be all-smiles the whole day and feel like nothing could ruin it. But this particular birthday was different. I was neither excited for it nor all-smiles about it. And it didn't feel like a normal day either. It was a very un-special day, if you ask me.

After thirty minutes or so, I finally got up. But as soon as I did, emotions started flooding in. I didn't know what they are. I didn't recognize them. And I didn't know what to do. There was a continuous tugging and jolting around the area of my heart for a couple of minutes. It was really unpleasant and uncomfortable. Once it stopped, I decided that I shouldn't stay home alone during the day so I showered and got out of my unit as soon as I can.

Stepping out, I actually had nowhere I wanted to go. So I just walked until I spotted a crowded enough tea shop that also serves waffles. It was perfect since I haven't eaten anything yet. Although walking usually calms me down and clears my head, I found myself ignoring and disregarding a little unpleasant voice inside me. I was consciously doing it and I know I needed to, else I might end up crying on the street.

I knew I had to surround myself with people and pretend to be occupied to be able to keep shunning the voice away. I went to the school's library hoping to find a familiar face but in vain. The voice was getting stronger so I walked again and filled my mind with the images surrounding me. It had been working and the day was almost over.

Come dinner time, I met with boyfriend whom I was hoping to bump into at school. He was supposed to make this struggle of keeping the voice silent a breeze but seeing him proved to be the opposite. I felt lonelier than I did the whole day and everything just burst. The loneliness quickly became anger and resentment and it was soon unbearable.

I hated that most of my friends forgot about my birthday just because it wasn't on Facebook. I hated that boyfriend didn't get that he was the reason I went to the school library. I hated that the "special-ness" of birthdays depend on the people who would supposedly remember you. I hated that most of the birthday greetings came in during the evening after I have felt lonely and unimportant the whole day. Lastly, I hated that I found myself stuck waiting for people to remember me just because that was how I have been trained to think for at least 22 years.

I again tried to walk all these thoughts and emotions off. I found myself roaming along the streets and inside the campus at close to midnight. I had been to the same areas during the day and they actually felt different. The air was cold, the people were few, and the surroundings were dark. The silence, the sights, and the sweat eventually calmed my nerves and I went back feeling a lot better, although still not special, than I did the whole day.

It was an eventful day alright, just not in a good sense. It was the day I realized, and admitted to myself, how lonely I was and how much I needed my friends.