An old lady begging for alms was sitting on the corner of a popular street. She looked very weak and feeble, wearing tattered clothes and holding on to a worn-out stick. She was stretching her hand out and blindly tugging at anyone who passes by her, but no one ever paid attention. It was as if she was just an annoying little bug, better off ignoring than shooing away.
At last, it was my turn to walk past her, to ignore her, and to act as if she never existed. It was my turn to experience her tug and to be one of the hundreds of people who failed her. However, the scene didn’t turn out the way it typically did.
******
It was past lunch time and I was quite in a hurry. I stopped by a convenience store to get some change and as soon as I got out, it was then that I saw her. It wasn’t the first time I saw her sitting there. And it wouldn’t also be the first time that I would walk right by her.
As I hurriedly crossed the street towards her corner, guilty thoughts raced through my mind. “There she is again. Should I give her something this time? But I’m almost late and am quite hungry too. Oh well, I’ll just do what everyone else does. I’ll just pretend I don’t see her even if I know I should help her.”
Resolved with this thought, I innocently walked to her corner. As expected, I saw her hand reach out before me, pleading for anything to ease her agony. And as I have settled on, I proudly ignored her. However, she reached out for a second time. This time, I felt a strong tug at my arm, demanding that I take notice. I wasn’t prepared for this second tug. I wasn’t able to think but just heeded to that tug. And so, I abruptly stopped, turned to her, and handed over the milk box that was supposed to be my brunch. I even waited for her to get the small straw that I’ve already opened. Afterwards, I turned to the street again and continued my swift walk.
I then thought, why did I do that? What made me do that? And then I remembered that second tug. She tugged my arm even though she really didn’t have an intention to. However, along with that arm, she tugged my heart. But did she really have to call out twice for me to answer?
******
I don’t usually feel compassionate with poor, homeless people on the street, maybe because I’m used to their presence and have accepted the fact of their existence and my inability to change their status. I know I want to help them and I know I should but I guess I just don’t feel too strongly about that that I resolve to holding it back. I know I’m not the only one who feels like this and I know that it shouldn’t be that difficult to give something but I guess it would always be a big challenge to be completely selfless.
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