Transitions

Note: This post was originally written in early-April when I was still adjusting to life in the project house. I went to Panglao for a 3-month volunteer stint with a marine conservation NGO where I worked and lived with people from different nationalities.

It has been more than a week since I officially joined this Panglao-based project and a little more than a month since I decided to. Although there are no immigration procedures or language barriers to go through, it was still a significant transition for me. Coming from maintaining an apartment on my own to sharing a bedroom with two other girls and from self-managed projects aimed at sustaining myself financially to team projects aimed at sustaining livability for marine mammals, it is a whole new world.

Although adjusting to new situations is not foreign for me, this time feels different as it is not only a change in place but also a change in lifestyle and goals. As a frequent traveller, moving from one place to another -- whether for a single night or for a few days -- has become natural for me. And I sometimes spontaneously go off to some beach destination or on a random road trip just because I can. But these are just changes in place and I still get to retain my independent and self-centered lifestyle. Since moving to Panglao however, I have to work around instructions, requirements, and household chores. I am no longer the head of my own house or the manager of my own project and a self-absorbed and impulsive lifestyle will not really work. Aside from this, the goal has shifted from knowing a certain place and absorbing what I can from it to understanding a specific situation and trying to contribute to it.

Nevertheless, everything has been a good experience so far. There are lots to learn and lots to discover and I am one who is enticed by challenges.

The whole point, really, of volunteering for this project is to expand my comfort zone, which we all know is never an easy thing to do. Travelling purely for self-discovery, I wondered whether I can make a bigger contribution to the places I visit and consequently discover something more insightful. I realized how I am only scraping the surface of these destinations -- its beauty, its comforts, its conveniences, but not its issues, its struggles, and its injuries (from the descent of tourists). With this project, I hope to understand more.

It'll be a couple of months more until I officially sign off from this project and definitely a couple of months more of adjustments and challenges. I don't have visa permits to worry about but the situation definitely feels just as foreign for me.

To the guy I loved but never had:

Hey there!

It has been more than a year since we agreed to end things between us. And yet, it never really ended. You kept contacting me, sending me greetings, asking about my travels, and checking for updates on my life. On the other hand, I kept hoping we can get back together -- imagining how it would be different the second time, reminding myself of how we met, and holding on to all our happy moments.

During all those time, I kept trying to block you out and to replace you with someone or something. But every time you reach out to me, I am pulled back to believing that you still want me and can love me.

You were my precious and my kryptonite. I looked at you and could only think of how I want to take care of you and help you grow. I think of you now and suddenly none of the pain or challenges matter. My whole being yearns to be with you and it would be so easy to just allow myself to.

But these are merely self-made delusions, created from a sense of being needed (not just wanted) and from a spark I never knew existed. I was really happy and you made me feel understood. I will never figure out whether all the smiles, the laughs, the hugs, and the kisses we shared are real but it all kindled a warmth in me that was real.

Although it felt like the universe conspired for us to meet, the fact that we cannot decide to choose each other, simply means that we do not want each other. And because of that, I have to let you go. You have to let me go. Our chance has passed and we need to move on.

You will always be my precious and maybe my first real love. But you should not be my only one or my last. I will get up and search for a new spark. You should too.

I know this will just be another letter dedicated to you that you will never read -- and I don't intend for you to. However, I do look forward to the time I will need not write another.

Much love and sincerity,
L

Wonderful Indonesia (i.e. I wonder how I survived)

Route of overland travel: Jakarta>Yogyakarta>Surabaya>Banyuwangi Baru>Gilimanuk>Amed>Canggu

For 23 days, I travelled across Indonesia -- from Jakarta to Yogyakarta to Amed to Canggu. I traversed the islands of Java and Bali in an attempt to see how similar or different it is from my own. Initially, I feared the country for being predominantly Muslim but quickly realized that to be the least of my worries. In the end, although the country looked quite similar to my own, it never felt comfortable nor familiar.

What I have been really wanting to tell my friends was how bad of a time I was having in Indonesia. Amidst the beautiful scenery and the new adventures, I was struggling. For more than once, I wanted to burst out crying, and for more than once, I held it in. In a situation where locals can take advantage of you at the first opportunity they see and where you already are vulnerable for being alone and a foreigner, crying is not really an option.

Normally, I would feel safe wherever I am, be it in a new country, in an unfamiliar alley, or in a shared housing. I never thought that something bad (read: bad and not unpleasant) would happen to me. But in Indonesia, being in a crowded place felt like someone would rob me and passing through an empty road felt like someone would grab me. More so, local drivers seemed to always overcharge me and men on the street seemed to always stare at me.

For 23 days, I carried this sense of paranoia with me. I lost the wonder of observing locals and of discovering side streets. I took comfort in the company of foreigners and in staying inside. And, waking up for the sunrise or staying out for the sunset posed little appeal.

It was a totally different trip and a totally challenging one.

I guess, part of the problem here is that for my past travels, I have been very fortunate to experience only "good" and "not good" encounters. In this trip, I had "bad" experiences. Actually, one reason that I travel is to get exposure to the real world outside of my shell and comfort zone. So I guess, with this trip, I am becoming successful in that.

I know this is just another discomfort that I have to conquer and learn from. I may need a couple more months to get over the experience but I am confident this is not going to stop me from travelling, or from coming back to the country.

Indonesia was definitely challenging but that is not saying that it is not wonderful.

Friends Along the Way

Alona Beach, Panglao Island, Bohol

Juan, Candela, Jorge, Guille

5-13 May 2016

These Spaniards took me into their group and made effort to make me feel comfortable and not out of place. They talked in English so that I could understand their conversation even if it is very unusual for Spanish people to know English. They invited me to their barbecue dinners and shared their San Miguel and Red Horse with me. On my last night, I made Mango Float and Pork Adobo for them which they praised and appreciated. I forgot my Lock n Lock at Guille's house and he came back for it the morning I left. Jorge drove me to the habal-habal terminal because Juan had a class. Candela talked to me in a mix of English and German which I both understood. Juan took really good care of me -- always asking how I was and what I'm doing even though sometimes he was too lazy to get up in the morning.

General Luna, Siargao Island, Surigao del Norte

Juan

18-20 April 2016

I met Juan while I was walking around the hostel looking for a vacant bathroom. He called out a quick "hello" as I breezed past him. I momentarily stopped and turned around to check where it came from but didn't bother to respond because I was already a couple of meters away from him and was more focused on getting a bath. On my second attempt to find a bathroom, I headed to the 2nd floor and he was there again sitting on the bed directly outside the bathroom. I briefly checked whether the bathroom was vacant and immediately backed away because it wasn't. He saw me and invited me to sit down on the bed while waiting for his friend to finish in the bathroom. He even called out to them to say that someone is waiting in line. During our quick chat, his friend finished so I was able to take my shower. We have been saying hello's in Siargao and in Panglao since then.

Nico's Garden, Tandag City, Surigao del Sur

Virginia, Nico, John Mark, Donald, Che-Che

10-14 April 2016

I came to Nico's Garden on the recommendation of my Hinatuan soul-sister. If not for her, I would have stayed at a motel with no chance of  enjoying the sea and the breeze in Tandag. Madam Virgie, her close friend, was the manager of Nico's Garden, whose owner was her childhood friend. They introduced me to their family friends and even brought me along on a business trip in Butuan City with Nico's son, John Mark, whom Tita Virgie wants me to date. On my supposedly last day, she convinced me to stay for one more night so that I could bond with John Mark who introduced me to his side-kick (i.e. spokesperson) Donald and his girl-friend, Che-che. We had dinner by the bay and had drinks and karaoke at Nico's Garden c/o his father's business. I really appreciated how they accommodated me as a family friend instead of as a stranger.

Mabolo, Cebu City, Cebu

Ton, Paul, Tita Mimi

27 April - 5 May 2016

I have never really talked with Tita Mimi until I stayed with her for a couple of days the previous year during my travel. This time, I stayed with her for a week, not only to save on food and accommodation but also to have company and to spend time with family. Most of the time though, I was with Paul, her retired German partner, because she had to go to work. On evenings, we would drink beer, champagne, wine, and brandy and we were always happy and laughing. Ton was a former colleague of my brother who was recently assigned to Cebu City. We met up and spent some enjoyable time together. He drove me around Metro Cebu to the most amazing places and I invited him along to dinner with my Tita and Tito. It was the first time that I went around Cebu in a private car and the first time I saw the city from a local's perspective.

Jing's Place, General Luna, Siargao Island, Surigao del Norte

Ryan and Sandy

18-27 April 2016

The first friends that I made in Siargao were Ryan and Sandy. I saw Ryan preparing his surf board while I was just finishing my late lunch. I approached and shamelessly asked whether I can come with him to surf. He looked at me confused and unsure and just responded to repeat my question. Sandy came shortly after and Ryan immediately repeated my request to him. He looked at me with the same confused expression but generously agreed anyway. They made space for me on Ryan's motorcycle while Sandy carried surf boards on each arm. I rode with them to Cloud 9 and then followed them up the boardwalk as they surveyed the waves and selected an area with the least people. We agreed to meet up just before sunset as they headed out to surf and I roamed around to observe and take pictures. I made good conversation with Sandy throughout my stay while Ryan took me out one night to party with his friends.

Hidden Beaches to Visit and Discover

1. Quinale Beach

Brgy. Poblacion, Anda, Bohol

Beach-loving travelers gravitate to the south-western coast when visiting Bohol, but little do most people know that the municipality of Anda, on the eastern side, harbors one of the province's best-kept secrets. Fronting the town church and plaza, Quinale Beach is a 3km stretch of bone-white powder that melts into shallow turquoise waters, delighting even the most discerning of beach afficionados. Plus, nearby coral reefs offer spectacular diving with marine turtles, multicolored nudibranchs and pygmy seahorses.

2. Caluwayan Beach

Brgy. Caluwayan, Marabut, Samar

Despite being the third-largest island in the country, Samar still remains off the radar for most travelers. The town of Marabut in Samar province has recovered its rugged beauty three years after the wrath of Typhoon Haiyan. While its sand may not be as white as the country's premier beaches, Caluwayan Beach still wows visitors with its karst landscape and jagged offshore islands that are reminiscent of northern Palawan.

3. Tayandak Beach

Brgy. Dumangas Nuevo, Kalamansig, Sultan Kudarat

Besides its geographical isolation, a history of ethnic unrest has prevented travelers from discovering the pristine coastline of Kalamansig in southern Mindanao. That's likely to change now that peace has recently been restored in the area. Of the series of mainland beach coves facing the Celebes Sea, Tayandak Beach is the most beautiful with its fine white sand and palm trees. This west-facing coast also has spectacular sunsets and serves as a jump-off point to even more stunning beaches and snorkeling sites on Balet Island.

4. Balinghai Beach

Brgy. Yapak, Boracay Island, Malay, Aklan

A "secret beach" in Boracay? Located just south of Shangri-La Boracay Resort & Spa is the small turquoise cove of Balinghai Beach Resort, sheltered from the rest of this touristy island by limestone rocks. Accessed by a steep path down a limestone wall, this hidden corner has pockets of white sand that offer that sought-after privacy and tranquility away from the crowded shores of the island's more popular beaches.

5. Hermit's Cove (Kantabogon Cove)

Brgy. Kantabogon, Aloguinsan, Cebu

Flanked by limestone headlands, Hermit's Cove is a hidden crescent of coralline beach in the little-known town of Aloguinsan along the mid-western coast of Cebu island. The beach was named after a hermit who had lived on this once-isolated beach. Now Hermit's Cove can be reached via a wooden stairway built along the southern cliff. With the tranquil atmosphere of a sleepy fishing village, it's a perfect place for pitching a tent, and the tidal flats that stretch away to the depths of the Tanon Strait offer great snorkeling along its coral walls.

6. Nagtabon Beach

Brgy. Bacungan, Puerto Princesa City, Palawan

Veer away from the droves of tourists that flock to Honda Bay and take a motorbike instead to Nagtabon Beach along the western cost of Puerto Princesa City. Set against lush mountain ranges, this broad stretch of cream-colored sand offers dramatic sunsets over the West Philippine Sea, skim-boarding along its shallows, and even surfing on moderate swells between the months of October and February.

7. Dicotcotan Beach

Brgy. San Isidro, Palanan, Isabela

Sandwiched by the Sierra Madre mountain range and the rough fringes of the Pacific Ocean, coastal Isabela is cut off from the rest of Luzon, making it one of the last frontiers of the archipelago. The Northern Sierra Madre Natural Park contains not only the country's largest rainforest but extends to virgin shorelines like the 3km Dicotcotan Beach, which rewards the intrepid travelers who make the long and arduous journey to get there.

8. Anguib Beach

Brgy. San Vicente, Santa Ana, Cagayan

Carved along a thumb-shaped peninsula on the north-eastern corner of Luzon island, Anguib Beach is a deserted crescent white sand with pine-like casuarina trees and glorious sunsets over the Babuyan Channel. After the long drive from Tuguegarao City, it's a perfect spot for making like a willing castaway, setting up camp on soft sands and falling asleep under the sparkling night sky. Palaui Island is a protected nature reserve nearby that offers a lot of great hiking and birdwatching.